Parents said the workshop created a sense that they were “not alone.” Talking with other parents helped them feel understood and supported. Hearing others’ stories gave them hope and admiration for their peers’ resilience.

“You hear about mindfulness and that sort of stuff, but you don’t really think that it would be that productive for you, I suppose. So when you actually sit down and do it as a guided practice, it makes a bit more sense.”

The facilitator’s role was key, guiding parents step by step, showing genuine understanding of autism, and offering a compassionate presence. This made parents feel included and respected.

The facilitator “seemed to understand what some of the symptoms are in public, the meltdowns, and so it felt like we weren’t just talking to someone who didn’t understand autism.”

Most parents entered the workshop with little knowledge of self-compassion. Many described themselves as highly self-critical, often putting their own needs last, and sometimes feeling judged by others.

Self-compassion is “one of those things that it’s like, you get told, don’t be so hard on yourself and all that, but actually doing it is a whole other thing … I don’t find it helpful when someone goes, well, just stop being so hard on yourself. How to do that?”

“I wouldn’t say that to anyone out, like, outside of my internalness. So I’m just like, why am I doing that to myself?”

Turning compassion inward was difficult for some. A few described “blocks” when trying to be kind to themselves, or that it felt “weird” or uncomfortable. Still, many shared that the workshop made them more open to trying, and for some, it came at “the right time” in their lives.

“There was a block, but immediately it was just like, ‘yep, you can be as loving as you like to other people, but as soon as you try and turn it back on itself, it’s just like, No, I don’t really want to go there.’ It’s kind of what my mind did. And so that’s obviously something to practice.”

The practices were described as simple yet powerful. Parents especially valued:

• Breathing exercises for calming down during stressful moments.
• Tone of voice to soften the way they spoke to themselves.
• Posture and gentle expression as physical reminders to be kinder.

The tone of voice was like groundbreaking, because I think my tone of voice to myself sometimes is not really always friendly, and so I’ve really been utilising it.”

“In an ideal world, it’d be wonderful if we spare the time and space for a formal meditation, but it almost puts a burden on you to have to do that, like it’s another task. Whereas more ad hoc, just the awareness is helpful.”

For some, these exercises brought up strong emotions, even tears, as they realised how hard they had been on themselves. Others appreciated that the tools didn’t require long meditations; they could be done “anytime, anywhere,” even on busy days.

“I’ll kind of practice them a little bit without realising it. So subconsciously, it’s like, I might be kicking myself, but then it’s like, ‘oh, hang on, no no no. It’s all good.’”

Parents noticed that being kinder to themselves also helped them in their parenting. They became more patient, calmer in stressful situations, and more mindful of their tone and reactions with their children.

"It’s hard when you’re when you’re the primary caregiver, and you’re like, seeing it and facing it all the time, you can’t help but get frustrated because it’s so, it is a lot like, you know, and but at the same time, I keep saying to myself, he can’t, I know he can’t. This is how his brain works.”

Some parents described the importance of modelling self-kindness, recognising that their children could learn compassion by seeing it practiced at home.

"I try to think things through and be more forgiving of both myself and the kids as well.”