Fathers shared how everyday family moments felt deeply meaningful, and how parenting brought pride, connection, and happiness.

“Going for a walk with my wife and daughter and the dogs and just like really appreciating those special moments … I really love, love my life … treasure so much being an Autistic parent.”

Parenting prompted some fathers to recognise or understand their autism more clearly.

“By the time we got home [from the party] … I had a meltdown. I just got overwhelmed from all the jumping and the screaming … So, there were a few incidents like that that led my wife to suggest that I might need to talk to someone.”

Fathers reflected on their own childhoods and chose to parent in ways that felt more supportive, gentle, or emotionally open.

“I don’t wanna be the same kind of father that my dad was to me.”
“I never felt loved by him [dad]. I was determined that when I had kids I would shower them with love and affection.”

Fathers valued being genuine with their children and showing them it is okay to be themselves.

“Being a parent of [an Autistic child] is a really strong driver for that, for me … to be a role model … to be authentic, to show him that he can be him.”

Daily life involved managing multiple needs, routines, and sensory environments within the household.

“We all have our separate corners of the house that we use. Sometimes the noise/mess/chaos bleeds into another’s bubble and it becomes very stressful … there is a lot of headphone use and negotiating different rooms, lights etc.”

Fathers needed time or space to recover from sensory or emotional overload so they could keep parenting well.

“Really, really need some quiet, alone time that I’m perhaps not getting enough of… I suppose no parent really gets enough of that.”

Parenting involved ongoing communication and shared problem-solving within relationships.

“[Learning I am Autistic has been] the main topic of certainly my marriage and parenting in the last 12 months, because I think we just realised how much that needed unpacking.”

When autism wasn’t understood in relationships, fathers often felt they had to hide who they were, which was exhausting.

“Had to mask at work, and then I got home and I had to mask at home too, because my wife didn’t understand … the kids didn’t understand, so I behaved like they wanted me to behave. And the only time I could wind down is when they all went to bed.”

Fathers felt overlooked in pregnancy, birth, early parenting, and disability support settings.

“No one talks about the birthing experience as a father that's Autistic ... the confronting nature of it. No one talks about, you know, how to deal with changing a nappy when you have severe sensory triggers.”

Navigating schools, health services, and bureaucracy was tiring and often overwhelming.

“I’m from a real place of privilege … if I was a young dad trying to navigate the system, f**k me, you know?”

Social expectations around parent groups and events could feel stressful or inaccessible.

“Autistic fathers who avoid their children’s special events… may not be disinterested or uninvested… it may be that these events are simply too loud and bright, and there is an expectation of superficial social interaction with strangers, all of which can be very overwhelming.”