When Pat first began parenting a child on the autism spectrum, she felt like she had stepped into a dense, dark forest - without a map.
“Every parent wants their child to thrive and be happy,” she says. “But without guidance, that forest can feel overwhelming and full of uncertainty.”
Pat and her husband Alan are parents to three boys, Hayden age 17, Brendan age 16, and Jono age 8. Both Hayden and Jono are autistic , they were both diagnosed when they were three years old. All three boys had a severe speech delay when they were younger, but only Hayden and Jono went on to receive an autism diagnosis.
Like many families new to autism, Pat and Alan were navigating unfamiliar territory, and learning as they went.
A challenging start
Hayden, their first child, was an energetic and curious toddler. He struggled to sit still, found it hard to listen, and experienced challenges forming friendships in early childhood settings.
“Parent–teacher meetings were reactive,” Pat recalls. “They were triggered by challenging behaviours. As parents, we felt helpless. We didn’t have solutions, only apologies.”
When their paediatrician suggested Aspect as a potential kindergarten option, Pat admits she felt hesitant.
“We didn’t really understand what autism meant yet,” she says. “I remember thinking, how could our happy little boy fit into a school full of children with autism?”
What changed her mind was a simple but powerful statement from an Aspect enrolments coordinator:
“We’d like to help Hayden learn to learn.”
From the moment Hayden started at Aspect South East Sydney School, Pat felt a sense of relief.
“For the first time, we felt seen and understood - without judgement,” she says.
Aspect’s approach focused on understanding Hayden’s strengths, learning style, and needs, not just his challenges. Collaboration was an important part of the process with teachers working closely with therapists and including Pat in every step of the learning journey.
Supporting the whole child
Aspect’s holistic approach went beyond academic milestones, considering sensory needs, social communication, emotional regulation, and wellbeing.
“For both Hayden and Jono, emotional regulation was a big focus,” Pat says.
Transitioning to mainstream - with confidence
When each of the boys was midway through Year 1, teachers began conversations with Pat about moving both Hayden and Jono into mainstream schooling.
With careful planning, collaboration, and ongoing support, both boys transitioned successfully.
Finding a path forward and empowering the whole family
Looking back, Pat no longer sees those early years as a time of fear, but of growth, learning and possibility. What once felt like a dark, uncharted forest became a landscape with different pathways, signposts and trusted guides.
Early support gave Hayden and Jono the skills to move forward in their education journey and it gave their parents confidence, clarity and hope.
Today, Hayden is 17 and exploring his passion for visual arts while Jono is thriving in mainstream schooling.
“The special needs setting wasn’t just about supporting our children,” Pat reflects. “It empowered us as parents.”
“Aspect helped us see our children for who they are, not what they struggle with,” Pat says. “They didn’t just support our boys - they walked alongside our whole family.”
Today, Hayden and Jono are thriving in their own unique ways, grounded by the foundations laid in those early years. And for Pat and Alan, the lesson is clear, when families are supported early, no one has to walk the forest alone.
