Life as an Autistic father

Adjusting to changing priorities

I find it stressful and frustrating as my time is no longer my own and I struggle to find time to do the things I feel compelled to do in order to feel whole. But I don't feel like I've lost time because I get to be a part of this little person's world and I get to experience things again but this time not first hand.

I think being Autistic gives me unique advantages in communicating and bonding with my son who is also Autistic as I often have insight into what he is experiencing. I feel I am more equipped to teach my son about his emotions and how to use them to embrace the full colour pallet of life.

I do feel I have lost a sense of myself prior to being a father but it's a trade I would make every time over. It would not be reasonable for me to expect things to stay the same after having a child, and they certainly haven't, but I understand the frustration that comes from no longer having agency and control over your day.

Making time to come up for air

I used to be my happiest when cleaning the bottles at night knowing my wife and son were asleep and there was some silence in the house (my wife is Colombian and my in-laws came and lived with me for the first 6 months so you can imagine how rare this was for me). It is these times of small wins that I used to come up for air (and I guess still do as I'm writing this at 22:20 and they are both asleep).

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