Autism Spectrum Australia

The flavours of life

  • Posted: 04/12/2014
  • Author: Thomas Kuzma
  • Comments: Loading.. .

Hey guys welcome back to Aspire. Sadly just a week ago my relationship with Jenna met its sudden but inevitable demise. Am I upset? I was, but over it all I am happy with the times I spent with her.

From the Tibetan Monks to the Kangaroo and its Joey, relationships are universal. You can find a relationship everywhere you go; between a musician and their instrument, a fish in a school (he’s going for that Phd) and a Bogan with his AFL Team. It’s what ties this world together, that and gravity. If we go through life without having a relationship to something or someone, then what’s the point? I assure you there is at least ONE relationship in your day. For instance, I am currently having a poisonous relationship with this laptop, which is giving me a bad connection to my keyboard.

This week we had a big launch event called “A Night with the Stars” held at, where else, but the Star Bar. The benefits of this venue included a cinema and it was up a flight of stairs. You don’t know how important that second one was; there was so much heavy rain that several Christmas Parties around Sydney were flooded. People came from near and far to the event where we talked about ‘a different brilliant’, The Sci-fi short film ‘Game On’ and our brand new magazine ‘in perspective’.

The night was fantastic but I really want to write about the magazine. The magazine is made by people on the spectrum for everyone. It’s a lifestyle magazine, with this issue focusing on relationships. I spoke with Haydn Payne, a friend and fellow co project leader on in perspective about this project and about relationships.

Working on the project was a mind-blowing experience; I'm so grateful that I was able to work with a dedicated, passionate team of people and share my ideas and perspectives with all of them and them with me so that we could all pull together to produce this magazine.

I was able to pour all my creative energies in a direction which will ultimately entertain, inform and hopefully inspire others in their own creative journey.

I have learned so much as a result of the project and have improved both as a writer, team leader, and person and I can only hope my readers benefit and enjoy the results of this project as much as I have participating in it!

Relationships to me are the flavour of life. Like any good meal, sometimes we love flavours, sometimes we grow to like something we previously disliked and vice versa, and our tastes can change over time - regardless of whether the relationship is professional, personal or physical. Even bad experiences teach us to avoid those situations and provide us with wisdom so that we can enjoy the good 'flavours' of life! Relationships aren't always easy but without them life would be incredibly dull.

I think most relationships break down due to a lack of understanding, or each side having a viewpoint that cannot be reconciled with the other. Promoting understanding between people is the best way to avoid the majority of hiccups that happen in relationships. In short, we need to really try to get to know each other and understand the needs and wants of people in general. Most of all we must learn to love people for who they are, and not for whom we wish them to be.

Honestly many of the moments with my girlfriend and unofficial fiancée have been some of the best in my life. We are very much on the same wavelength and share many of the same interests. I often wonder how a guy like me wound up with such a beautiful, intelligent, funny and loving girl. I'm not a big 'psychic' kind of guy but some of the moments I've had with her have truly made me believe in soul mates.

She is smart, beautiful, funny and weird in all the ways I like. She gives me a reason to get up and face whatever the day throws at me and I love her dearly.

Rekindling my relationship with my mother during her journey as a cancer survivor was a huge thing for me, as was getting to know the real her. I have an awesome relationship with my Nan who shares my interest in writing and was happy to proofread my first novel. I'm so privileged to be able to speak with them on both an intellectual and emotional level. As with any family we have our dramas and conflicts but once again, that's part of the flavour of life!

Thank you Haydn. The next Aspire guest blog will be written by his talented fingers. So what’s my perspective on relationships? When I first thought about relationships I instantly thought of the life I had before having a girlfriend. I was unhappy because I saw all these people having fun with their partners, and there I was, playing the classic Crash Bandicoot. I tried to get a girlfriend time and time again but I failed epically. My older bro stole one girl from me; one said she turned lesbian; the first girl to kiss me pretended like nothing happened between us; I could go on.

 As time went on I realised there was something wrong, I was seeking a relationship like it was some kind of accessory. I realised that relationships weren’t one way things. This means it’s not all about me and I don’t try to smother the person I’m dating. As the Beatles song goes, it’s a little bit me, and a little bit you. I have to thank my friend Amanda for that; that is the best thing about having friends of the opposite sex, you get to learn so much more about yourself.

Okay so how did things with Jenna go? In short, I fancied her in her polka dot dress, she ran a mile,  rethought things while she was in Canada (THANK YOU CANADA!), returned to Australia, we started dating, she started to lose interest, I panicked, blamed myself etc., we broke up in Darling Harbour. In a nutshell. When we broke up, it felt like the scar I was feeling in my heart was being patched up; all I could think was, I am happy about what I have experienced here with Jenna. I wish all the best for her, and I know she will go far. I have grown and look forward to whatever or whoever is next to partake in my adventures.

Relationships are a funny thing; we spend so much time on something that inevitably will end. The thing is, it’s all about the journey, a large learning experience. In life we have good and bad relationships, but  I am grateful for everyone I have been through. They have each taught me one thing or another, and when a relationship ends, I am thankful for what I have learned and I have some spectacular memories.

I mean relationships are great, but will you ever have one this hot?




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The flavours of life